Moscow Madness...not really

Moscow; I expected so much from you!! To start off, I checked the weather forecast, and was promised sun at minus 4. What I got...snow, snow and more snow! I also wanted to see everything, and be a cheapo by walking everywhere. What I got...a foot injury so I am taking the metro and walking slowly. I wanted to finally let loose and go a little crazy with the guidance of my couchsurfing host. What I actually got...a cat and a dog. My host had to go to St.petersburg, and left me alone in his house. On the plus side, I have PRIVACY and wouldn't you know it, I took a couple of wonderful dumps in my solitude. On the downside, I have no tour guide :( and I have shakira and margot (cat and dog) to care for. I don't mind the animals, it's actually nice to have a little company.

So here is my last couple of days. Friday morning I arrived early in moscow and got lost. Thanks to my basic Russian, I was able to find my way. I went to the Kremlin and the Red Square, which were covered in snow. While in the Kremlin, I accidently walked out of bounds and the policeman on gueard threatened to beat me with his batton. I was shocked, and couldn't move. Thankfully, he spoke english and explained to me that I was walking where only employees are allowed. Now, I will let you in on a trend I have noticed in both main cities of Russia: PDA. Public Display of Affection. You wouldn't believe the number of people I see full-on making-out in public. What makes me sick is where they do it! Right beside Lenin's mausoleum, there is a couple railing against the wall making-out with full force.

I can't usually snap a discreet photo thanks to my large camera, but I was lucky enough to capture this to prove my point!

Another trend I have noticed is men carrying their girlfriends purses! I can't believe a man could stoop to this level of submission. Have some gusto boys! Take a little pride in your manhood! I hope to capture this moment at some point before I leave this fascinating country.

 The mother of my host family in Saint petersburg used to live in moscow, and put me in touch with her former english teacher. He picked me up at a train station friday night and drove me around. What I didn't expect was how young he would be. Misha is 27 and looks VERY Russian; tall, wide shoulders and very dark hair. He took me to what he called the "romantic" places in the city. I was starting to feel like this was a set-up on the part of my host mother. Misha offered his arm while we were walking, and asked me many personal questions about my religious beliefs and my out-look on marriage. I felt like I was being interviewed for the position of his future wife! Thankfully I blamed my dismal outlook on marriage on my parents' divorce, and told him i plan on never tieing the knot. He was such a gentleman; opening the car door for me. He was very polite and spoke great english, but for some reason I just can't get comfortable around guys unless I am drunk as a skunk - so sorry, no good love story out of Moscow!

I walked down the tourist street "Arbat" and spent way too much money in one of the overpriced shops. I saw the sign "50% off" and got sucked in!! I kept thinking, WOW this is only 3 dollars instead of 6! Before I knew it, I had spent 40$ on magnets. I don't usually like to post my own photos here, but I took some random ones on the street which can't be tied to my identity. You are my closest friends who are reading this, so you deserve a little photographic treat!

The Metro is so ornate

For my equine loving friends back home!

Grave of the unknown soldier

Saint Basils!

Church of Christ the Savior

At the Pushkin museum of fine arts

Street performer with accordian

Lomonosov University

One of the romantic spots I was taken to on my "date"

Yeah, let's hold hands and skate....

Now this is familiar territory!

Only moscow has starbucks in all of Russia

Dunkin Donuts

Macdonalds

So now, once again, I will spend the day alone, wandering museums and coming home at a decent hour to let the dog outside. Welcome to my exciting life!

Insulation

Okay, I know there is no legitimate excuse for not shaving my legs for three weeks... But I am going to give it a whirl anyways. In London, I was far to busy, and frankly it wasn't so bad; I had just left Canada with a fresh pair of legs. In Russia, I can honestly say I kept it au-naturelle because of the cold! You'd be amazed how an extra layer of hair can actually help keep you warm. Boys, back me up here!! Even after my encounter with Oliver I had no drive to pretty myself up. Now with the weather improving (it's about minus 5, bur cloudy and snowy), I took the time to be a lady once more.

I don't like to use my own photos...anonymity is precious! But here they are...it may not look that bad, but it really is - I have fair hair

Yesterday I went to Saint Peter and Paul Fortress... Talk about a strange place. Inside the cathedral is the Imperial necropolis. I saw Peter the Great's burial place, a hall full of tombs. There is a room dedicated to the last Romanov family, tsar Nicolas and his family. As a kid, I was fascinated with stories about Princess Anastasia. Yesterday, I saw her burial place. What a sad way to die; by a gun squad just because the people revolted against imperialism.... Little did they know, communism wouldn't treat the country much better. Russia has a fascinating history, and everyday as I walk the streets, my mind comes alive with thoughts of who else stepped on these stones. Leon Trotsky perhaps? Or Dostoevsky?? You don't get those feelings in Calgary, that's for sure.

Today, I did my first longish run in preparation for the Hervis Half Marathon in Prague. I have been slacking lately. For some reason I can't seem to shake this constant cough. I'm almost finished my supply of neocitron; liquid gold! 13km in 82 minutes... Still no where near the 21.5 I need for march 31st... But I'm getting there! Thursday night I head to Moscow, so I hope my adventures get more interesting for your sake ;)

Oliver Twist

Privet from good ol' Saint Petersburg!! Another couch surfing meeting last night went extremely well! I met a gorgeous French man named Oliver! What blue yes he had. I even put up with the smoking table so I could sit beside him and share stories. He is so brave, he doesn't speak a word of Russian and he will be going on the TranSiberian railway all the way to China. This is one of my dreams, which will have to wait until my bank account makes a full recovery ;) We even spoke in french together - how romantic. Our legs touched under the table, and he didn't pull away! Great sign...but just my luck, he was leaving that night at midnight to Moscow :( What a shame! The few hours I spent enraptured in conversation with him put me in such a great mood! That was until I had to leave and I smelled my hair...I can't believe smoking is still allowed indoors. What a filthy habit! Remind me never to date a smoker...

Another success on the couchsurfing front: I met Alina today and we spoke at great length about all aspects of life. She brought me to her friend's flat, which is called communal living. The flat has 5 rooms, plus a communal kitchen and bathroom. Here lives Aljona and her roommate in one room, a mother with one child in another, a mother with TWo screaming children in another, a young couple in the next, and a single woman in the last. All of these people share a kitchen and the most private world of any house...the bathroom! Yikes! Fortunately, each room has a fridge, and Aljona even had a microwave. I was treated to some estonia candies and marzipan, yummm. Of course, we drank tea all afternoon, as is the russian tradition. I can swear they drink more tea than the Queen herself!

One of many beautiful ceilings in the Hermitage

Wednesday, I finally hit the Hermitage. What an incredible musem! It puts the Glenbow to shame 100x's over. I don't expect Calgary to have a 300 year old palace, but come on! Some original architecture wouldn't kill you. The art itself was nice, but the actually palace was in itself a museum. Walking the corridors that Queen Elizabeth petrovna and Catherine the Great once walked was such a surreal experience. I found myself looking at the ceiling in every room. What beauty in the details. I was lucky enough to get in for free (I am really milking the student discounts) but to take photos cost money. Of course, I cheaped out and didnt pay for the pass. Instead, I spent 3$ on postcards! I have maybe spent 20$ on food in two weeks, and my biggest expensive so far has been my tickets to moscow and my cellphone. Otherwise, I haven't really been spending anything. However, my handy snacks from Canada are running out :( I am wishing I would have brought my roommates nutri-gran bars she tried to pon off on me...oh well! Tonight, I am going to my pupil's choir concert, but she didn't tell me where it is! So wish me luck!

The Devil wears diapers

Today I managed to spend a whole 6 hours outside of the house. I met with an amazing couchsurfer who tried her darndest to teach me some more Russian, but alas I think I am a lost cause. She did, however, help me get a cellphone! So I will never be in danger without a friendly voice just a dial tone away ;)
I realize I haven't divulged much about my host family, so today I dedicate this post to baby V. She is not a baby anymore... At 2 1/2, V can run, scream, cry and shout. She is queen of the house, and isn't afraid of being scolded. Probably because all mom or gramps ever does is use a stern voice. If my kid was such a brat, you better believe she'd be in the corner or sent to her room. This kid could get away with murder. She will take her older sister's iPad and drop it! Then drop it again! She can't sit still, and is continually plopped in front of the computer to watch cartoons, and only the cartoon SHE chooses. The platter of fruit is splattered with apples with only one bite in them: her trademark! She also opens any sweets within reach only to take one bite and leave it on the table. She also has a habit of coming into my room unannounced. At first I thought, okay time to be the perfect guest and play with V... But I soon regretted this decision. I am now the dyevoshka (girl) who will play with V. This evening at dinner, she refused to sit down (like usual) and fell over her highchair. If her mother hadn't caught her leg, I am certain my problem would be solved... Morbid yes, but I do not normally have a vendetta against children. In fact, I even babysit two of the best behaved kids you will ever meet! I think a child is the outcome of its parenting. So moms and pops out there: DON'T let your little angel get away with murder, or one day their babysitter will write a blog about the little devil you raised.
Manners! I mean, isn't that common sense? But then again, is there anything common about common sense? My experiences prove NOT!!!
Stay classy San Diego!

Russian Friends

It's about time I start meeting people, so tonight I ventured out of the safety of my host home, and walked 40 minutes to a pub. There, I met with couch surfers from around the city! I was fortunate enough to speak with Anna, who will meet with me next week for language exchange and to help me buy a mobile phone. I guess it is bad to travel this country without one! I met two Sergei's as well! Typical Russian name. It was wonderful to speak english and share stories about Canada. Sergei #1 had so many questions, I felt like an ambassador! Let's hope I do our country proud. I even took the Metro home! What a maze, and the escalator to get down to the station was so long. My pupil tells me these are the deepest metro stations in all of Russia. Even in the cover of darkness, i found my way home - which happens to be in the same yard as a local police outlet. So you can be assured I am safe ;)

Now, to tell you about where I am staying. First of all, I am living in the living room. Thankfully open-concept living hasn't hit Russia yet, so I have a door. However, the door only does so much good because it has frosted glass. Even the BATHROOM door has frosted glass...so imagine seeing a shadow figure in the bathroom...naked, on the toilet, not exactly private! 

Another surprise in the bathroom is a toilet seat slip-cover. I have never experienced anything like it in all the bathrooms I have ever visited! The two-year old daughter is cute, but extremely annoying. I can't teach the mother until after she goes to bed - so there goes any chance of nightlife in Saint Petersburg! I wanted to stay longer with my fellow couch surfers, but alas, I have responsibilities here.

Warm touchie ;)

I am trying to plan the rest of my time here in Russia most effectively. Today, I booked a weekend in Moscow. I mean, who goes to Russia and doesn't see the Red Square??? I have put out a few couch surfing requests, with hopes that someone will adopt me for the weekend and perhaps give me a few russian lessons. Another destination which is calling my name is Rostov. My tutor of three months lives there...but it is a 300$ flight to and from, for only a weekend :( add the taxi fare and food, and the costs just keep on growing. Anyone who knows me well, knows I was secretly in love with Vova. I would count down the minutes to when I would hear his voice again. We would spend hours speaking via skype (only audio chat) and I would fall ever more in love with him with each passing word. We both do Yoga, and we both like the same movies, and his kindness was the most attractive quality of all....did I forget to mention he is EIGHTEEN YEARS OLDER THAN ME!??? When he was 18 in the Russian Military, I was a mere 1-year-old baby in Germany. My 23 year-old dad was on the other side of the iron curtain trying to protect the world from my Vova's army (which he was forced to do.) I have been so torn about visiting him, not with some unrealistic love fantasy in mind, but just to meet a dear friend whom I've spent countless hours speaking with. Alas, the weekend before my epic journey began, I got two traffic tickets worth 477$. This came to me as a sign from above that I can't afford the journey so far south to my Vova. I spoke with him last night on the internet, and the smile on my face was beaming. Maybe if I leave him a mystery for my next visit, it will give me more reason to return to my fatherland? As of right now, I am wondering why the hell I came to Russia in February, or at all! No one smiles, not a soul. I am so terrified of getting my camea stolen that I have yet to take it out of the house! Time to change my mindset and start enjoying this adventure, or I will only have a chubby butt to show for sitting around all day!

Saint Peter

I hit the streets of Saint Petersburg for the first time today, solo! First mistake, forgetting my map on the table. Imagine, a tall woman walking around in a powder room yellow jacket with a running room headband in a sea of black and fur. I had to venture to my language school to register my visa. I left the house with only the name of the street in my head. No surprise, I was instantly lost. Most countries I have visited have signs in English as well as the native language. Here is 100% Russian. I wandered the slippery paths along the grafitti ridden buildings. I imagined Saint Petersburg as a historic gem; the history is there, but so poorly maintained. The plaster was falling off nearly every corner, and the streets were dirty and in a constant state of disrepair. I felt so uncomfortable, mostly because of the language barrier. The only person I have met so far who was nice to me, outside the house of women I am living with, was Peter. When I arrived late on Sunday, the language school picked me up, as well as Peter. What a gentleman. He is from Slovakia and will be in the city for three months, taking Russian lessons everyday. I quickly scribbled my email in hopes that this tall dark Slavic sexy man would maybe get in touch with me. Bu alas, that only happens in the movies. Today, my fate changed. Once I miraculously found my way to the school's office, I was met by a smile from the lips of my angel; Saint Peter! It must have been fate that I got lost for so long before reaching the door right as Peter and his classmates were leaving. In a moment, the loneliness I was feeling melted away. He invited me for lunch, and I met a few more students all learning Russian. Each had been studying this complex language for over two years, so I was a joke compared to them. But Peter was so kind and helped me order in Russian. When we parted ways, he assured we would meet again, and I received a kiss on each cheek. Now this is a bit closer to what I imagined my trip would be!
Now, you are propably all wondering what my host family is like. As I am writing on my iPod, I will have To wait until my thumbs have a chance to stretch. Dasvedanya!!

Goodbye London, Hello Russia

Stonehenge was not even close to what I had expected. As I walked around the ancient prehistoric structure, I kept waiting to feel a magical/spiritual sensation ... Instead, I felt like everyone was overwhelmed by asian tourists with peace signs flashing! I offered to take photos of at least 4 groups of people, and still no return offers. I finally got an offer in response. "Can we have a picture?" And before I knew it, they were shooting me! Maybe this is a turning point in my trip? Where every photo has been of the landscape and architecture, but now I am part of each memory? In 2009 in Thailand, I travlled with one of the most compact, gorgeous blonde women I have ever encountered, she was a great side kick. While at Angkor Wat, she managed to attract a range of Asian toursits all queing to take a picture with her. All of them were stupified by her blonde hair and blue eyes.  I always wondered if I could have such a skill, but thought my plain features would never garner any interest. Friday I was proven wrong. Not only did these lovely korean ladies offfer to blind me all day with the flash of my camera, but they insisted that I be part of their photographic memory of the events of the day. From Stonehenge to Salisbury to Bath, I was forced to put my two index fingers in the most stereotypical positions known to man .... a sign of peace. I became part of the stereotype, not even trying! Salisbury, the church was the most amazing monement. I have read all the novels of Ken Follet, and Pillars of the Earth struck a special chord with me today while gasping at the medieval flying buttresses of the cathedral.
After the big tour, my polish hosts offered to take me to a traditional english pub. Being Friday night, everyone on our street was jammed pack. So instead, we hit the grocery store and bought a bottle of Whiskey. To my grand surprise, we bumped into their polish neighbour. Might I add, SEXY polish neighbour!! So Lucas was invited to our tiny flat to drink whiskey. My male host mixed the drinks, and I could barely take a sip without burning my throat with the sharp taste of whiskey. these polish people had more whiskey than pop! So, as you can guess, we all got drunk fairly quickly. I taught them how to Line Dance, and I even showed them my old reporter demo! How embarrased I was! But they were absolutely intrigued by my life, and I am not going to lie - I loved the attention. Now, you must all be wondering if I made a move on the sexy neighbour...alas, I did not. I will be returning in may, and I didn't want to spoil my reputation so early on ;)
My very last day in London was Saturday. We all slept in until 11am, and then I went for a run. I decided, YEAH I'm going to run to Abbey Road - made famous by the Beetles. So i ran to abbey road, found it, and crossed at the Iconic Zebra stripes. it wasnt until i got back to the flat that I realized I went to the wrong part of Abbey road! What a terrible beetles fan I am. Thank goodness I am going back in May to redeem myself! Saturday night, I finallly had my first English  pub experience, and yes, Lucas joined us! What a catch! he has a great job, a great flat and loves to travel. We spoke at length about south east asia and Canada. My heart skipped a few beats. Unfortunately, my flight was leaving early sunday, so nothing ignited from the sparks flying from my heart. We were all worried my flight would be grounded. For the first time this year, a huge snofall hit London. The poor airport couldn't handle the load of white stuff, so over 30% of flights were cancelled. I secretly wanted to stay in London ;) Unfortunately...or fortunately...my flight was only delayed by 3 hours. 
Now I am sitting in the kitchen of a lovely flat in Saint Petersburg. The first thing I learned here...I suck at speaking Russian. The second thing...I stick out like a sore thumb in my ski jacket without any fur! I am a walking, talking tourist, no ifs ands or buts! 
Paka my friends! I will be back with more details on the historic city.

The da Vinci Disappointment

Day 3 in London has yielded a few stories worth sharing. First business however, is the fish and chips! What I was expecting was the typical cod lathered and battered in fat and boiled in hot oil. What I got from my lovely polish hosts was fresh fish - head, fins, scales and all - baked to perfection. The chips were, of course, right on the mark! Tonight, I decided to return the favour and cook dinner. I was racking my brain trying to decide on a canadian dish that was easy, healthy, yet filling and delicious. What I came up with? Butter Chicken. Yes, I cooked an Indian meal, with samosas, naan and rice to boot. The Canadian twist...it all came out of a prepackaged box or can. I realized we north americans are LAZY! While my european counterparts cooked three courses all from scratch, I pulled together a great meal by following directions on the back of the bottle. Welcome to Canada!

As a guest, especially in a tiny london flat, it can be hard to get 100% comfortable. My hosts have made me feel 99% at home...the last percent is actually virtually impossible to ever become comfortable with, and that is bowel movements/farting. We're all human, and we all have to take a shit. But when you are spending most of your time surrounded by others who are within smelling and hearing distance, it can be quite unnerving. You'd think I would be smart and take a poo in a public washroom, but for some reason, the urge only comes at night after dinner. I managed to restrain myself until the man of the house was at work, because between girls it is much less embarassing. I utilized one of the best tricks in the book - take a poo then have your daily shower right after. This gives you the best opportunity to avoid the embarassing odour and awkward silence after a couple of echoing plops into the bowl. As I mentioned, I chose a spicy butter chicken as my feast of choice. Had I known the reprecussions, I would have chosen otherwise. The gas buildup right after supper was nearly unbearable. I kept trying to think of a smooth way to excuse myself, but I knew I would find no solace in the anything BUT soundproof bathroom. I picked up my ipod, and to my great relief, I saw a friend online! Yes, here comes my great excuse..."Sorry folks, I have to quickly call my friend, she had a job interview and wants to tell me about it. I will go out on the balcony and be back soon." THANK THE LORD!! After 4 toxic releases and a great conversation about my adventures in London and my friend's adventures on my couch in Canada, I was able to return and enjoy the rest of the night.

On the tourist front, I followed every step in the Cheesy Tourist Guide possible. I got a two day pass on the doubledecker bus, fully equipped with an audio tour and a hop on hop off service. I took the ferry down the Thames, and went to the National Art Gallery. All the museums in London are FREE! Yes, imagine one of the most expensive cities in the world not charging to view some of the most famous art works in history. I was over the moon when I found out there was a special da Vinci exhibit on display for only a few more days. I mean, what are the chances! One of the most famous works of art in the world, the last supper, in all it's glory was just meters away. I waltzed in tot he warmth of the museum (a nice welcome from the freezing wind) and was utterly crushed. In order to get a pass to the special exhibit, you had to wait in line starting at 5am. The line takes an average of 5 hours! I couldn't believe it. In an effort to overcome my disappointment, I roamed the free galleries in hopes of finding a work to lift my spirits. I was in the presence of some rare unfinished Michaelangelos, Van Gogh's reverred 'Sunflowers.' and my absolute favorite Monet's 'Water-Lily Pond.' There were also many prints from other great impressionist artists like Georges Seurat and Paul Sezanne. I can safely say the combination of these great paintings help warm me up after my broken heart.

I also walked around and took loads of photos, all without me in them. It is hard being a tourist alone, you almost need a professional photographer to truly capture the moments and stories to share them later. As a very oberservant picture, I noticed other travelers in my situation. In each occasion, I went straight up to them and asked if they wanted me to take their picture. Each offer was met with great gratitude, but was not once reciprocated. I couldn't believe it. They could see me struggling to extend my arm out far enough to frame most of my face with the tower bridge in the background. I know I could and should have asked for them to do the same for me, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to pop the question. I figured the act of offering my services would eventually pay off, yet I was proven wrong over and over again. My host took me to a few sights today and snapped some pictures, which I will be eternally grateful for. I believe, unless you are in the photo, how can you really say you were there? I could have googled a shot of Big Ben, but being in FRONT of Big Ben, well that is original ;) If you have never heard of Harrod's, you really should google it. I have never been to a department store like it in my life. The grocery section was an actual garden of eden. Every item of produce was pure perfection. There were plants growing, and the staff were wearing outfits circa Marry Poppins era. Considering this is where the Queen shops, the sky-high quality standards are quite understandable!

As you may have noticed, I haven't spoken about being inside any of the big tourist attractions, except the free museums. Key word - FREE. I have walked around Westminster Abbey, I have riden around London Tower on the doubledecker, and I have looked at the London Eye from almost every angle, but I have yet to spend a single pound on going inside any of these tourist hot spots. I figure, being there is just as good ;) My mission is to blend in a bit with the locals, and my hosts (who have lived in London for 6 years) haven't been to any of these places either! Instead, I am going grocery shopping at Sainsbury, watching foot ball matches, and drinking 5$ bottles of wine from the Tesco on the corner in the comfort of a 250 square foot flat. I've heard numerous times about how much visitors hate London "It's too crowded, the people are jerks...the weather is terrible!| For me, I have had nothing but clear blue skies (but freezing cold wind) and have only met the nicest people (except for self-absorbed travelers). And there lies the problem, it's the tourists with the bad attitude. Anytime I am in a big tourist spot, these are the times when I get bad vibes about the city. Yet, when I am wandering around with my very own londoner, I feel at home and comfortable! (aside from the gas buildup of course). So next time you visit a city, try asking the local waitress at the tourist restaurant recommended online where SHE eats. Then , and only then, can you come close to getting to know that city.

Babies on a Plane

Nine and a half hours on a British Airways flight direct to London was an interesting start to my grand trip. While I can safely say there was no need for Samuel L. to open a can of whoop ass on a bevy of rogue snakes; I do wish he could have been there to rock TWO babies to sleep. Who brings a baby on a plane? I realize you can't stop your life when you have a family - but wait until they can LISTEN to you when you say shut up. Make your family come to you for a visit, not the other way around. While the babies may sound like the most distrubing aspect of the flight, my seat mate was in fact the strangest sight for me. The blunt german girl was very negative and bitter about leaving her boyfriend in Canada. But that's normal! What spun me for a loop: She ordered white wine and sprite....AND MIXED THEM TOGETHER!! Now, I am no stranger to trying to mix wine with pop. But in my own defense, I was in Australia drinking Goon; the worst possible white wine known to man. Mixing sprite with it made it more bearable. On British Airways, the white wine is phenomenal. It is sacreligious, and frankly very disturbing. I almost welcome babies on a plane over ruining a good bottle of wine.

In London, the transportation is a cinch. However, at every stop a very proper english woman would announce "This is a piccadilly line service, last stop is cockfoster." yes, cockfoster....over and over again! In terms of the british accent, I am NOT a fan. I prefer eastern european accents to the pompous british drawl. In fact, I am staying with a polish couple who are absolutely lovely. They are perfect hosts, and are giving me great directions and advice to see London most efficiently. They live in a 250 square foot bachelor suite, or in England -a studio flat. It is very cozy, and authenticly British. I was treated to a full english breakfast; including beans and tomato. Tonight, My gracious hosts are putting together a fish and chips feast! i am very fortunate to be spoiled with great polish hospitality. Today, I am hitting the double decker bus with my camera; yes typical tourist!