The ex-factor

I tell yah, the weirdos sure come out of the woodwork when you show up on national television!

First off my high school sweetheart wrote me a message on Facebook ...

" Just thought I'd Let you know my my wife has Been Keeping up with your Blogs and is addicted lol. Just thought I'd Tell you. And That and We saw you on TV and WAS like ... "Weird, I used to bang her "hahahahahaha lol well good job"

Yes ... the poor capitalization choices are all his. Great. The five years we were together and almost getting married can be summed up as "I used to bang her." What I take from this message is he is extremely envious of my freedom and unhappy with his pitiful life. (Nothing against being married with kids, but come on ... he married a whale).

It's sad really. I wish I could free him of his shackles and let him fly away like the caged bird that he is. But that's his choice!

Next, my latest ex wrote me on Facebook late last night. This is the one I'm most confused about. We ended on non-speaking terms. He promised to bring back some stuff I left at his place, and never did. I ended up dropping off his items on his porch. That was three weeks ago and I heard absolutely nothing. No thank you. No sorry I was really busy. Then, after my big TV debut, I get this ...

"Hey, how have the Olympics been?"

Really ... That's it? You saw my Interview on TV - so you know damn well How the Olympics have Been. I have toiled with the idea of not just writing HIM back at All. Thankfully his message was short enough I was able to see it without opening it ... (whoever invented the 'read' function on FB messenger should go to hell ..)

I will wait a few days. Prove I'm uber busy. Then possibly write back "It's been epic." That's all.

As for my dutchman situation, I have come to embrace the experience and drop the guilt. He's married, not me. And I really didn't know at first. The way he persued me the first night ... stalking me outside the bathroom and then aggressively kissing me means he knew exactly what he was doing. I guess I'm just so irresistible ;) I will be proud of the sexy dutchman notch on my belt. That's the end of that! And if I happen to go to Rio in 2016 ... well we'll see. Might be I send him an email ;)

In the meantime, I'm giving my body A well-deserved break from sex and liquor. My Dutchman did a number on me. Bruises to prove it! I'll be away from the internet for a while, but now I go to meet my tutor! (Who I used to be in love with online). Wish me luck!